


Blissful Days

by hunterxxxhunter



Category: Killing Stalking, 킬링 스토킹 | Killing Stalking (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Happy, Healthy Relationship AU, Healthy Relationships, I literally did not revise or re-read once...oops, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Illness, Plot What Plot, cute dates, happy relationship, restaurant dates, these boys just need happiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-17 03:53:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9302972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunterxxxhunter/pseuds/hunterxxxhunter
Summary: Healthy Relationship AU, because these boys NEED to be happy!!!!!!!!Fairly episodic fic(Somewhat based off some random tumblr post I can't find)





	1. Sauveur Sympathique

"I don't like knives!" Bum screamed in a high pitched wail, his sweaty body begrudgingly ripping itself from the satin sheets as he lurched forward.

Sweat and tears relentlessly trickled down the man's delicate frame, refusing to stop their flow.

  
Sangwoo whipped up from his cozy nook in the bed, staring at his boyfriend with a petrified look. As Yoon glanced back into his eyes he made another ear piercing scream, and used his sturdy right leg to push off of Sangwoo's chest and land himself right on the floor.

Pillows and blankets graciously fell with him, catching his thin body as he crashed to the floor in fear. Sangwoo rose from the bed, his eyes eerily darkened by the ominous lighting in the room.

  
"Bum...what's wrong." His voice was quivering as his eyes laid upon his shaking partner.

  
"S-stay away!" Yoon cried, his sobbing adamant as he crawled away from his partner.

He scrambled on the floor slipping on a pillow that caught under his foot.

  
"I'm staying away, I'm staying away." Sangwoo had both hands up in the air, and he collapsed down onto his knees, kneeling on the soft comforter.

He was used to Bum having nightmares, a common symptom from his PTSD, however this one seemed extremely bad.

Sangwoo kept instinctively chanting that Bum was safe, and that he would never hurt him.

As the other's breathing and crying slowed, Sangwoo moved with delicate caution towards his partner. He was nearly a foot away, just mere seconds away from crouching down to meet Bum's eyes when he got a rejection.

  
"P-please don't h-hurt me." Yoon burst into tears again, his body shivering and quaking as his chest heaved, begging for air.

  
"I won't hurt you. I've never hurt you." Sangwoo whispered, his voice echoing and repeating like a comforting broken record.

Sadly, Bum kept shaking with merciless rhythm. The other tentatively slinked his arm forward, reaching outward to Yoon and thankfully got no rejection. Sangwoo cautiously inched closer until his partner's quivering body was pressed tight into his chest, tears dampening his loose muscle tee.

  
"Shhh you're safe. I won't ever hurt you, I wont ever let anyone hurt you. The thought of it breaks my heart." Sangwoo was lightly crying, his heart breaking, shattering from seeing his partner in so much pain.

  
"It was so real. It hurt so much. Y-you were s-so mean." Yoon was sobbing, his voice vibrating into his partner's chest.

  
"It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It wasn't real. It will never be real." Sang soothed, rocking back and forth, combing his fingers through his partner's sweat slicked, tangled charcoal locks.

The two of them sat in a puddle on the floor, crying into each other, each not sure who was comforting who.

After nearly an hour of calming down, and readjusting to reality Bum finally shared his gory, kidnapping dream. Sangwoo cried the whole time, not out of offensive, but out of grief. It was a stab in the gut to know that his boyfriend's former struggles with abuse still kept haunting him. The two decided to go downstairs instead of back to sleep, out of fear of that dream sneaking up again.

Sang grabbed his partner's favorite record, and placed it on their new turntable. The warm fuzzy cracklings from the record eased the mood as Sangwoo made warm pressed coffee.

He returned to the living room, handing Bum a cup of steamy creamy coffee before wrapping a cozy wool blanket around the other.

Sangwoo kept his distance out of fear of triggering any bad memories from the dream, but that distance was quickly closed as Yoon slinked his way over to the other. He collapsed into Sangwoo's chest, sighing at the now comforting embrace they were cuddled in.

  
"Play with my hair?" Bum asked, while looking up into the other's raven eyes.

  
"Of course." Sangwoo replied with an endearing, mind easing grin before instantly running his fingers through the other's dark locks.

The two laid their in silence, comforted by the warm sound that rang from the record. A rustic grandfather clock interrupted their euphoria, alerting them that it was finally 5:00 am.

  
"I really don't want to go to work." Sangwoo sighed, knowing he had to leave in an hour.

  
"I don't want you to leave. It's torturous spending the whole day alone." Yoon responded.

He had tried numerous times to get a stable job, but his anxiety and PTSD limited him from being able to secure one. Luckily, Sangwoo was more than happy to work for the both of them.

  
"I always feel so bad when you leave. I don't contribute to the world at all." Bum added, changing the tone of the room.

  
"Don't you dare say that. Without you I would come home to a dirty house every day. Without you I would be eating take out and instant rice every day. Without you I wouldn't have a reason to work, to thrive, to be a person. I don't know what I'd do without you." Sangwoo said instantly, refusing to let his partner say anything bad about himself.

Sangwoo had battled depression for years, and never in his life had he ever felt so motivated to live. After meeting Yoon, his entire world was flipped around, and every battle became a little easier because he wasn't fighting alone and he wasn't fighting for himself. He was fighting for Bum.

  
Yoon didn't reply to Sang, instead he turned around to stare deep into his eyes. He leaned in for a passionate kiss, with absolutely no hesitation.

The rhythmic, hypnotic dance of his tongue was enough for Sangwoo to understand that he was saying thank you. The cozy blanket that had so lovingly cocooned Yoon was now floating to the floor as he crawled into the other's lap to get a better angle.

  
Bum's lips were flowing like satin with Sangwoo's. Slow and gentle, his tiredness still clearly evident, but there's a passionate pattern to his movements.

  
Somewhere during the exchange Yoon's shirt had found it's way to the ground, joining the blanket that was once around him. Before either of them could get any farther Sangwoo realized he had less than 30 minutes before he had to leave.

  
"Quick go upstairs and shower, I'll make you breakfast." Bum ordered, springing up from the other's lap before resolutely grabbing his shirt from the floor and throwing it on.

Sang nodded as he rose from his comfortable spot on the couch, the brisk morning air lapping at his back as he stood. He diverted his eyes down, glancing at a bulge in his pants before shooting his hands over to cover it. He then scurried up the stairs, hands still cupped over his crotch.

Yoon giggled, proud of himself for being able to get his boyfriend riled up so easily. He strolled into the kitchen, yawning and stretching like a barn cat as he blindly rustled through the cabinets.

  
"Breakfast. Breakfast." He mumbled to himself while rubbing his eyes with clenched fists.

A small pit was still bubbling in his stomach, his chest still felt heavy and uneasy from the dream. Shame was working it's way into the mix as he continued scanning the kitchen for a quick breakfast. He was ashamed that he would ever have a dream about Sangwoo torturing him, when his boyfriend had been nothing but gentle and loving. He was ashamed that his mind still played tricks with him like this, even after all of these years.

  
His hand found it's way to the fridge, stumbling around through ingredients as he set them on the countertop. He luckily had enough ingredients for kimchi and a bean soup.

Bum frantically began cooking, his time limit seeming to sneak up on him quicker than he realized. His still tired hands fumbled with the knife, and the edge caught the side of his finger, immediately drawing out blood. He made a notable hiss at the sting right as Sangwoo entered the room.

  
"Are you alright?" Sang asked with obvious concern in his voice.

  
"I cut my finger pretty bad." Bum replied as he pinched and admired the wound.

  
Sangwoo rushed over like a concerned parent, grasping his partner's hand to examine the damage.

  
"We must go to the hospital immediately!" Sangwoo said jokingly as his arms coiled their way around Bum's tiny, delicate waist.

  
"Oh yea definitely. I may bleed out." Yoon sarcastically replied.

Before he could say another word his feet were lifted off from the unforgiving cold tile floor. 

  
"I'll carry you there because clearly your legs will no longer work from your finger wound." Sangwoo said while sweeping the light body off of the floor, his chest bouncing as he laughed.

  
"Haha Sang. Put me down I have to finish cooking." Bum laughed while wiggling around in the muscly arms that were still wrapped around him.

  
"You are far too injured to be put down, and you cannot finish cooking. You need to heal before you bleed out." Sangwoo continued, laughing while ignoring the fact that he was wasting lots of time.

  
"Sangwoo~" Yoon cooed through his giggles.

  
The other finally set him down, but only after he playfully spun Bum around in his arms. He then ordered him to go upstairs and get a bandaid from the bathroom.

Sangwoo finished the cooking, and Bum sat at the dining room table, one hand holding up his head. It was pressed against his pudgy cheek, and his scarlet tinged nose glowed as he admired his boyfriend cook.

  
This was truly pure bliss for both of them. The two shared consistent doting gazes at one another while the pungent aroma from the food continued to fill the tiny room. Yoon traced his dainty fingers in little circles on the table while endlessly admiring Sang.

  
They finally hurriedly ate breakfast and as Sangwoo flew out of the door, already several minutes late, a protesting arm stopped him.

Yoon yanked down hard, shifting his body weight down and back into his heels as he pulled Sangwoo around. He then grasped the collar of his boyfriend's shirt and pulled Sangwoo's lips into his own. Bum took no time to wriggle his tongue in, and his lips curled and danced forcibly against the other's. When he finally pulled away with a lewd slurp a devious grin remained on his face as he whispered against Sangwoo's neck.

  
"Let's finish this when you get home."

  
"Why must you always tease me like this?" Sangwoo whined while extolling the beautiful man below him.

  
"So that way you will want to hurry home to see me." Bum replied with an endearing grin that made his cheeks push up into his eyes, turning them into mere slits.

  
"I always hurry home to see you. No matter what." Sangwoo replied while pushing Bum's bangs back to gently kiss his forehead.

Yoon sighed into the sensation.

  
"Have a good day at work. I love you." Bum said as he nearly kicked Sangwoo out the door.

  
"Just one more kiss." Sang begged, his eyes pleading.

  
"Nope! You're late for work! You can have as many kisses you want when you get back." Bum replied.

Sangwoo sighed and walked down the steps of the porch, out to his car. Yoon silently watched and the two shared a gentle wave before Sangwoo drove away.

  
Yoon hated this part of the day.

 

"Bum, I'm home." Sangwoo called through the doorway as he kicked off his shoes.

He waited for a second, attentively searching for a response but the stale air stayed an ominously silent. _Bum was always waiting for him to get home. Where was he?_

  
"Bum?" Sang yelled again as his eyes frantically scanned the small house.

He threw his jacket to the floor, an intense amount of anxiety shrouded his sweating body. His feet slapped against the wooden stairs, the railing shaking as he thudded towards the bedroom. Sang knew he was being dramatic, but anxiety was winning this battle. He nearly kicked the door down, the hinges rattled in the wooden frame.

  
"Bum!" Sangwoo whistled as he saw his partner sprawled out on their bed.

He sighed at the sight of his partner, treasuring the exquisite way his hair danced in every which direction, the way his eye lashes fluttered as he lazily looked up at Sangwoo.

  
"Did I disturb your nap baby?"

  
Yoon made a tired groan and stretched his dainty arms high over his head, grasping at the bed frame to pull himself up.

  
"Mm yea...but I don't mind." Bum responded, while cocking his head to the side, resting his chubby pink cheek on his shoulder.

Sangwoo leaped onto the bed, collapsing down as the springs bounced from his weight.

  
"How was work?" Bum asked as he inched himself onto the other's sturdy chest.

He plopped his head down onto Sangwoo's chest, his hair tickled underneath the other's nose.

  
"Long. But I brought home another one today." Sangwoo replied as he lifted up the plastic bag in his hand, peeled it open, and revealed a vinyl record that was hidden inside.

  
"Oh this is such a good album!!" Bum nearly shouted as he saw it.

He rushed his hands for the record, and nearly yanked it out of his partner's hands. He scurried over to their bedroom turntable, and hurriedly began to play the record.

  
Sangwoo was a manager at a popular record store, and every single day he would bring home a new album for Bum, knowing his boyfriend had the same love for music as him. Today he had brought home a Cat Stevens record, knowing it was one of Yoon's favorite British artists because his grandparents would always play his music.

  
"Come on, dance with me." Bum said with his signature grin while tugging at his boyfriend's heavy arms.

Sangwoo stood from the bed and ritually placed his sturdy hand on the other's delicate waist. A fast tempo song was playing, _Wild World_ , a tune that was familiar to Sangwoo. The two spiritedly danced, both perfectly in rhythm with each other and the song.

As _Miles From Nowhere_ began playing the two slow danced. Their fingers were ensnared, body's swaying together, and Bum's head was lazily resting into the other's chest as he sang along.

Sangwoo loved when Bum sang, for it was always on key and his voice resonated throughout the home is such a comforting way. They danced like that every day, it had become a mindless tradition that they would never get rid of.

After the record finished Bum pushed Sangwoo down onto the bed, the two crashing during the landing. Yoon took no time to start kissing the other's neck as he felt a dire need for closeness.

  
"Woah there." Sangwoo said, shocked by his boyfriend's advances.

  
"Huh? You don't wanna do it right now?" Bum asked.

  
"No...it's just you're oddly eager."  
Bum sat up and placed himself on the other's chest, legs straddling him, before he replied.

  
"Well I just missed you a lot today. Plus you brought home such a nice album. And do I really need an excuse to want to go down on my boyfriend?" Yoon replied while laughing.

  
"Haha no I guess not." Sangwoo said, his mind eased.

  
"So just lay back, relax, and let's have some **fun**."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Should I make the next chapter smut? Let me know what you think! I was thinking about some really REALLY fluffly smut. Please let me know what you think :)


	2. Lustful Affair

"Well I just missed you a lot today. Plus you brought home such a nice album. And do I really need an excuse to want to go down on my boyfriend?" Yoon replied while laughing.

"Haha no I guess not." Sangwoo said, his mind eased.

"So just lay back, relax, and let's have some fun."

~

  
Preventing any potential reply from Sangwoo, Bum dove into a kiss with obvious appetite. His petite nose lightly crashed into the other's as he eagerly claimed what was his. Heads rhythmically rolled while lips harmoniously danced. Tongues partook in the frantic guided waltz, both moving with gluttonous patterns.

Every time Yoon let out a lustful sigh, his breath tickled across the other's skin, making him evidently smile into the kiss. Greedy fingers found themselves slipping underneath Sang's shirt, and Bum momentarily reveled in the comforting warmth his chilled hand received before ripping off both of their shirts. _Clothes were just in the way._

Yoon sat up on Sangwoo's chest, a spot that had now become his signature seat before tirelessly admiring every inch of the man below him, his eyes staring longingly as fingers drummed on the other's chest.

"Don't stare." Sang shyly requested while his hands frantically went to cover up the marks that trailed his body.

What felt like an endless amount of scars were scattered across Sangwoo's chest from his father's merciless abuse. He was undoubtably ashamed of the scars and flushed red anytime someone stared for just a second too long.

"Why can't I stare? It's too perfect for me not to." Yoon whined.

He had an over dramatic pouty lip paired with puppy dog eyes that made his boyfriend weak.

"Because...all of these." Sangwoo diverted his eyes left as he pointed at a particularly severe scar.

"First off I've stared at you a thousand times, even while you were naked. I'm pretty sure that is, or at least should be more uncomfortable than just shirtless. Secondly, I couldn't care any less about these. I mean I have them too." Yoon readily replied, hoping his words could give Sangwoo an ounce of confidence.

"Yea...true." Sangwoo replied before leaning up and pulling Bum down.

He had both hands firmly wrapped around Bum's petite wrists, and he shifted his weight to flip the other onto his back. Sangwoo ardently nipped at his boyfriend's protruding collar bones before leaving a notable crimson trail of kisses.

"Ah Sang~" Yoon cooed in surprise and pleasure from the sudden shift of dynamics.

Bum's back arched high in a needy manner, his fingers desperately ensnaring themselves in his partner's hair as he felt the other's hand trail down his chest. Sang slipped his yearning hand down Yoon's torso, underneath his pants, and eagerly began to palm the obvious bulge.

"Ahh fuck-" Bum groaned before he rapidly bit down on his lip to silence himself.

"Be loud for me baby." Sangwoo requested as he noted the sudden silence from the other.

The mere second Bum released his lip from the grips of his teeth, a gasp flooded his lungs, drowning him in pleasure. Sang's adept fingers were teasingly brushing against the tip of his erection followed by earnest pumping. He had every single sensitive spot of Bum's body mapped out in his mind, and he provoked each area with rigorous purpose. He kissed right underneath his jaw, nibbled on his left ear, and would caress his boyfriend's sides whenever he got the chance. His well versed hands were everywhere and nowhere all at once, and Bum found himself craving his boyfriend.

"Sangwoo...mmm stop.." Yoon managed out as his breathing became labored.

"Hm? Is something wrong?" Sang asked and instantly removed his hand.

"I don't wanna cum like this. Plus I just want you to lay back, relax, and let me go down on you for a little bit. Is that alright?" Yoon asked with a yearning glint in his ebony eyes.

"More than alright."

Bum thumbs feverishly fumbled with the buttons of the other's pants, and hungrily pulled off Sang's remaining clothes, leaving him bare and all for his taking. Yoonbum still had his pants on, and their varying degree of clothing made his boyfriend seemingly uncomfortable.

"Mmmm you look so good." Yoon sighed as he slinked down his partner's chest.

His mouth moved towards the other's painfully needy erection with devious intention, and he leisurely dragged his tongue down his partner's chest. Bum was in a mood to lightly tease, and he let his sultry breath whisper over Sang's erection, hovering in a taunting manner. He flicked his tongue over the tip, just enough to give his boyfriend a taste of pleasure.

"You're such a tease." Sang sighed as his impatient nature crept up on him.

"I know, and I love it." Bum replied in a confident tone.

Yoon stared deep into his partner's eyes as he kissed the underside of the other's shaft. He then wrapped his lips around the head of Sang's phallus, and lovingly drank up the taste of his boyfriend. He earned an instant moan of gratitude, and reacted to the noise by dipping his head down farther. To light heartedly taunt his partner Bum decided to leisurely take in the erection, refusing to give his partner full pleasure. His tongue devotedly played with Sang, and indulged in the sensation of the veins pulsating against him. He thoughtfully kept himself at a slow pace, and refused to satiate his partner's needs. After a few more minutes of teasing, Sangwoo reached his limit, and he gave into Yoon's game embarrassingly quick.

"Fuck...baby mmm more." Sangwoo said in a soft, meek whisper.

"Hm? I can't hear you. What was that?" Bum mocked as he reveled in the sight of his needy partner.

"Please more please. It feels so good I need more..." Sangwoo pleaded shamefully quick. Bum was too addictive to him, he had no shot at controlling his pleas.

"Ah you're too precious when you're like this." Yoon sighed in satisfaction.

He then gave Sang what he asked for, no-holds-barred. Bum thoroughly provoked the tip of the erection whenever sliding up, drinking up pre-cum before taking in as much as he could when plummeting back down. He held Sangwoo deep in the back of his throat, swallowing heavily so his tonsils could roll and knead around the receptive tip, graciously stimulating the head. His sweltering saliva trickled it's way down Sang's erection when he picked up a steady rhythm. Bum's jaw began to ache, but each intoxicating moan from his partner made him wish this would never end.

"Ahh...mmm B-bum..." Sangwoo choked out as his hitched breathing and heavy moans filled the stale air.

He ensnared his finger's in Yoon's thick, sweat slicked locks, and desperately held on as he felt himself get closer to finishing. After a few more minutes Sangwoo found himself in a compromising position of heavy breathing, involuntary moans, and thrusts of his hips. He felt a much needed finish creep up on him but Bum abruptly pulled off with a lewd slurp.

"W-what?" Sangwoo asked while sitting up and leaning on his elbows.

His voice sounded pathetically disappointed and exasperated.

"Not yet." Yoon said with a mocking smirk and sinful eyes.

"So cruel."

Bum crawled back up to his boyfriend and hovered over his lips before diving in. Sang could taste the sour ting of himself that still lingered on the other's tongue, but the taste of Yoon still outweighed his own. Even the simple scent of his partner was comforting to Sangwoo, it felt like home; however, his pride was too much for him to admit that to anyone, let alone himself.

"Will you prepare me?" Yoon questioned while preciously cocking his head to the side.

Sangwoo nodded and rolled over to the bedside table as Bum slipped out of his pants and briefs, throwing them on the ground to join the growing pile of clothes. Sang blindly rustled his hand through the drawer, searching for a familiar bottle.

Yoon comfortably settled himself in a nook at the head of the bead, and patiently waited as his boyfriend seemingly took his sweet time. Sangwoo finally returned to his partner, bottle of lube clenched in his large fist. Bum wiggled slightly, repositioning himself while mentally preparing for what was to come, knowing he had to stay relaxed.

"Ready?" Sang asked as he coated his fingers with lube.

"Mhm."

Yoon let out a satisfied sigh when Sangwoo crawled over him to kiss his exposed, already red marked neck. As one finger pressed into Bum, he closed his eyes, trying his best to stay focused on the pleasurable sensation of the other sucking on his neck. Another estranged digit was pressed into it's receiver, and the fingers dually curved upward in search of Bum's sweet spot.

"Ahhh!" Yoon gasped as both fingers harmoniously probed at his sweet spot, making his back arch up as he flailed his arms around his partner's back.

"Mm there we go." Sangwoo said sounding accomplished while his voice vibrated against his partner's neck.

After a third finger was finally added, Yoon declared that he was ready for his boyfriend to be inside of him. Sang slipped his hands underneath his partner's back, coaxing it to arch enough so that he had the perfect angle.

Two fragile hands found themselves settled on scarlet tinged cheeks as Sangwoo cautiously entered Bum. The two attentively gazed at one another until one's eyes snapped shut from the stretch. Once Sang was completely inside his partner he nuzzled his nose in the crevice of Bum's neck.

"Haha Sang~" Yoon giggled while slapping his partner's back from the tickle of his nose.

Sangwoo kept nuzzling into the other while tickling his sides, refusing to take the moment too seriously. Bum was squirming and laughing until he finally requested for his partner to start moving. Sang took no time to fulfill that request, and he began thrusting with well versed, precise movement. He earnestly angled himself to stimulate Yoon's sweet spot while mutually showering his partner with much deserved compliments.

Bum methodically tightened his muscles to impeccably catch and stimulate the head of Sangwoo's phallus as it's restless thrust pulled out of him. Yoonbum lifted his head upward and his lips were immediately met by the other. The two of them only drew a breath of air when an elicit moan liberated itself from their craving lips, allotting time to breathe before submerging themselves back into the kiss.

Their impassioned embrace was shattered when both men plunged into the tiring state of overpowering pleasure. Yoonbum's tactful technique was pushing both men to the finish that they demanded as Sangwoo increased his rhythm. With every forceful thrust Bum would let out an involuntary moan or gasp from the floods of pleasure that quaked through his veins. His entire body was betraying him in the most beautiful way, and he cherished the control that Sang had over him.

"Ah Bum...mmm you're pulling so nice." Sangwoo sighed as his head was nestled into the crook of the other's neck.

"F-faster...ahhh pl-lease." Yoon could barely choke out his words.

Each syllable was interrupted by a forceful thrust or a sobbing moan that poured from his lips. Yoon felt as though he was endlessly pulling his partner closer, and his hands feverishly scanned up and down Sangwoo's back as if looking for a new angle to hold onto. His own erection was leaking sizable amounts of pre-cum, and he felt his much needed finish kept creeping up on him.

"Ahh t-touch me p-please!" Bum cried.

He didn't mean to order and beg but no part of his body was in his control anymore. Sangwoo followed the order, and spiritedly palmed the other's erection while intently watching his precious facial expressions. Beads of sweat had graciously peppered themselves across Yoon's heaving chest, as more and more hair flew into his face. After keenly admiring Bum, Sang nearly collapsed on him as his focus completely diverted to getting both of them to finish simultaneously. Sweat slicked foreheads pressed against one another as lustful eyes gazed longingly into each other. The air was intoxicating.

"I-I'm cl-lose!" Yoon practically screamed as he felt every vein pulsate from the overstimulation.

"Me...mmm me too."

The two crashed their lips for a final kiss as Bum's body shivered and quaked from the overpowering surges of merciless pleasure that flooded his veins. A sobbing moan ripped itself from Yoon, and he slipped into the euphoria he so desired. The sight and sound of Bum finishing was enough to push Sangwoo over the edge he had been teetering on, and within a few moments he was dropped over that edge.

"Fuck Bum!"

Sangwoo collapsed onto Yoon, accidentally crushing the other for a moment before redistributing his weight. He cautiously pulled out of his partner, and Bum felt chilling cold from the removal. The two were lewdly covered in sweat and cum, Bum worse off than the other. After a few moments of catching their breath, one of them finally broke through the silent air.

"Here let me clean up my mess." Sangwoo said while sweeping Bum up into his arms.

"You need to carry me for that?"

"But of course."

Yoon settled his head against his partner's chest, intimately listening to the heartbeat that privately rang into his ears. He stayed curled up in Sangwoo's arms as he was submissively carried towards the bathroom. He was gently placed on the bathroom counter before a towel was placed over his lap. Sangwoo had remembered that Bum hated being completely exposed for too long. He couldn't blame him, he felt the same way.

"Let me draw a bath for you~" Sangwoo said with an endearing grin while brushing his fingers through his partner's locks, tucking the hair behind his ear.

He then scattered the tub with lavender epsom salts and clary sage bubble soap, knowing those scents were his partner's favorites. He proceeded to turn on the water, placing his hand underneath to test the temperature as water gushed out from the faucet. The rushing water rattled the bath salts that had settled in the bottom of the tub while producing frothy, pearly bubbles.

"All ready for you love." Sang said while proudly waving his arm over the tub, presenting the calming bath he had prepared.

"Smells very nice, thank you." Yoon graciously responded, giving a supple kiss to the other's cheek before climbing into the steaming water, his muscles instantly relaxing.

He reached for his partner's hand, grasping it before drawing the other into the tub with him. The two repositioned themselves, water sloshing around their tired muscles until they finally settled into a comfortable position, Bum's back leaning against Sangwoo's chest, their legs outstretched and running parallel to one another.

The crest of the sweltering water lapped at their chests as it swirled around tender, aggravated bodies. Bum stretched forward, snatching a mauve bottle of ylang-ylang shampoo before a voice fractured the alleviating air.

"Allow me~" Sang whispered into his partner's ear, his humid breath sticking to the other's neck as he snagged the bottle from Bum.

Sangwoo cupped pools of water in his palms, dousing his partner's raven mane with a sprinkling waterfall before lathering in soap. Kneading fingers massaged in a sizable dollop of shampoo, diligently cleansing the clumps of hair that were tangled.

Bum's hair was drenched by a steady stream of tropic water that trickled through his partner's supple fingers, rinsing out the soapy residue before a buttery conditioner was stroked in. Sang untangled the hair with his grooming fingers, fluently gliding through each knot from the lubricious conditioner, leaving the sleek locks a lustrous deep charcoal.

"Thank you." Yoon said before turning around and beaming at the other while giving a wink. He then met his glossy lips with the tempting ones of his partner.

"You don't enjoy being covered in cum?" Sangwoo teased.

His tingling fingers cupped the other's chin, caressing the sheeny, velvety skin. Bum shifted himself, collapsing his head onto his partner's welcoming shoulder, unwinding and indulging in the affectionate atmosphere. The two continued to recline in what was now a tepid bath, content from each other's embrace, nearly sedated by the intoxicating aroma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I hope you enjoyed this shitty smut chapter and I would love to hear what you guys would like to see in future chapters! 
> 
> (I apologize for the poor writing. I was in the hospital after my surgery and very eager to post this chapter because of the requests. I didn't end up editing it I'm sorry!)


	3. Night Out (Valentines Day Chapter)

"Bum! We don't have any plans Saturday evening, right?" Sangwoo called from the couch, his voice barely audible over a record that was singing through their home.

"Umm not that I know of. Why?" Bum answered, temporarily distracted from his job of dicing vegetables.

"I don't know. It's nothing." Sang said as he strolled into the kitchen.

He leisurely rested against the counter, adoring the way his partner intently focused on preparing their meal. It was a mundane task, but something about watching Bum chop vegetables was entrancing.

With his attention and eyes still diverted to making dinner, ignoring Sangwoo's gawking, Bum responded.

"It's not nothing I can tell. Why did you ask?"

"Not telling."

"Sangwoo~ don't hide things from me." Bum said in a sweet voice. He set the knife down onto the cutting board and lovingly looked up at his partner with imploring eyes. Those eyes alone were enough to make Sang feel as though his knees would give way.

"I'm not hiding anything. And don't give me that look."

"What look? I don't know what you're talking about. I just want you to tell me why you asked me if we were busy on Saturday." Bum said ever so innocently, cocking his head to the side as he spoke.

He reached a delicate hand out to brush against Sang's neck, and earned a shudder from the light touch. Yoon then wrapped both arms around his partner's neck, lazily gazing upward with gleaming eyes and a begging pout.

"Fuck those eyes-" Sangwoo cursed in a low breathy voice, "-Fine I'll tell you...I wanted to take you on a surprise date. I overheard some people at work talking about a popular new restaurant that opened up, and I thought it'd be fun for us to go."

He then placed his hand on his boyfriend's cheek, methodically grazing over the satin skin while waiting for a response.

"But um...you know...I..." Bum's voice trailed off as he dropped his head, not quite sure how to form his words.

"But you get anxious when out in busy public places and I totally understand that; however, you won't ever be able to ease your anxiety if you don't push yourself outside of your comfort zone." Sangwoo stopped himself before getting any more preachy, knowing once he started a rant he wouldn't stop.

Bum kept his eyes stubbornly fixated on the floor before responding, ashamed by the way his nervous nature controlled him.

"But w-what if I end up doing something embarrassing o-or have a panic attack...I don't want to embarrass you."

"Well for starters you've never embarrassed me and you never will. And if you have a panic attack I'll pick you up and sprint out of the restaurant with you in my arms. And if you do something embarrassing I'll do something even worse, like somersault around the restaurant while screeching like an idiot." Sangwoo resolutely replied, hoping his words were the least bit reassuring.

"You're already an idiot." Bum replied with a meek grin.

"Is that a yes?"

"Fine that's a yes, but I'm holding you to that somersault thing."

 

* * *

For most people the weekend is not a dreadful thing, it is not an ominous presence palpable enough to cut with a knife;however, for Yoon Bum the weekend was exactly that. He knew his boyfriend was kindly taking him out to a new popular restaurant, but the fear that instilled within him was overpowering. It was not that Bum had never been in busy public areas, but he had inadvertently been limiting himself to social interaction exclusively between him and Sangwoo. The less he interacted with others the worse his social anxiety got; therefore, the unintentional months of cooping himself up in their home were back firing.

Several destructive thoughts were relentlessly swirling around Yoon as his thumbs fumbled with a black silk tie. After the seventh discouraged attempt, he collapsed onto the bed only to notice that the buttons of his white collared shirt weren't correctly fastened. An utterly conquered sigh rushed from his lungs, and the audible wheeze was picked up by receptive ears.

"Bum? You good in there?" Sangwoo called from the bathroom.

A green toothed comb was brushing through his hair accompanied by an unnecessary amount of hair gel.

"No." Yoon's voice sounded pathetically defeated, and he was soon greeted by a sympathetic look from his boyfriend.

"Oh my you are a mess." Sangwoo's voice was sweet, as though he was adoring the disordered state of his partner.

"Hah I know. My hands are shaking too much for me to even dress myself." Bum quietly spoke, sitting up and stretching his arms out for his partner to fix his shirt.

Sang silently re-buttoned the shirt, gently caressed his fingers against the collar, and skillfully knotted the tie. He sighed in admiration at the view of his partner, but Bum kept his head hung low, distractedly staring at his feet.

"You look so good. Do you want me to do your hair for you?" Sangwoo asked while placing a kiss on his partner's forehead, sweeping back his hair.

"Sure." Bum said with a more enthusiastic glow. He never understood why, but having people play with his hair was hands down one of the most comforting sensations for him.

Yoon was settled on the edge of the bed, with his partner kneeling behind him. Bum tactfully decided that this was the best time for him to be mindful before they left for dinner. He solely focused on the freeing sensation of firm fingers playing with his hair, readjusting his part, and combing in gel. He then began mentally preparing himself, showering his mind with optimistic, hopeful thoughts. The capability to overcome this anxiety definitely resided within him, however this was a constant uphill battle he often lost.

"All done. You should part your hair to the side more often, it looks nice." Sangwoo said while stepping in front to admire his work.

"Does it not normally look nice?" Bum jested.

"It always looks nice, but now I can see your face. You aren't hiding it with your hair."

Sangwoo walked back into the bathroom, finishing up his own hair and dressing himself before calling out that the cab would arrive in 10 minutes.

_10 minutes...10 minutes...only 10 minutes_

The time crunch circled through Bum's mind, taking over any other thoughts until he stopped himself. It was ridiculous, ridiculous that he was nervous about going out to dinner. What kind of pathetic person was he that he couldn't even go out to dinner? He was absolutely disgusting, and Sangwoo must be ashamed...how could he not be?

 

* * *

Those self destructive thoughts did not cease even as they arrived at the restaurant. The two stepped out of their cab, the silent air painfully uncomfortable until one finally spoke up.

"Bum how can I help you calm down? Your whole body is shaking..." Sang said, looking over at his boyfriend with a concerned face.

"I-I feel okay. R-really." Bum responded, eyes hazily focused on his feet as anxiety nearly ripped him from reality.

"Oh come on now, you could've at least tried to sound convincing." Sangwoo jokingly responded, hoping to get at least laugh from the other.

"S-sorry." Yoon squeezed his eyes shut while clenching his fists, completely ashamed of his current mental state.

Sangwoo wrapped his arms around the other, softly pulling him into his chest and letting out a saddened sigh.

"Bum, baby I was just joking. You're shaking so much. We don't have to go in okay? I can call another cab, we can leave right now, and go back home. I didn't mean to pressure you like this, I just wanted to have a fun night and-"

"S-stop. I know your intentions were nothing but kind, however my m-mind just isn't being very nice to me right now. Not because you pressured me, but because my mind just messes with me a lot. All I need is you to stay by my side. J-just hold my hand, and help me if I need it...can you do that?" Bum interrupted while finally taking both a verbal and assertive approach to face his anxiety head on.

"Yes of course. I won't leave your side."

 

* * *

 

  
The two slowly strolled towards the restaurant, Bum desperately clinging to Sangwoo's arm as a few judgmental eyes fell upon them. Yoon's anxiety already made him feel like the whole world was staring at him, judging his every move. But now with him so pathetically hung onto a man's arm in public, he earned extra disapproving looks from particularly conservative onlookers. The two climbed up the steps into the restaurant, and received an over dramatic glare from two elderly men who were dining outside. One of the men had a nauseating amount of food dribbled on his chin and Sang couldn't resist the chance to point it out.

"Don't mind them. They can't even seem to eat with the least amount of decency yet they look at us like we're disgusting. Hah, the irony." Sangwoo leaned down and whispered, earning a meek chuckle from the other.

They checked in with their reservation and were sadly seated at a table next to the crowded bar. Sang politely asked if there were any other places to be seated, knowing Bum would feel more comfortable in a secluded spot, but the restaurant was too full. The two sat down, quietly scanning their menus before Sangwoo spoke up.

"Remember if you need to leave, I'll carry you out." He said with a playful wink.

"We will receive the most judgmental, and well earned looks possible."

Despite being a crowded restaurant, the atmosphere was surprisingly comfortable. The lights were dimmed so low that the menus were barely legible, but it made the environment more relaxing. Bum delighted in the view in front of him, distracting himself from the anxiety by treasuring the way Sangwoo looked in his navy suit, and the way his eyebrows furrowed as he strained to read the menu. He looked so incredibly desirable. It was almost unfair.

"You aren't good at subtly staring. Do you need me to teach you how?" Sang teased, noting the obvious adoration from his boyfriend.

"I don't think I would want you as a teacher, I always know when you are staring at me." Bum poked back with a laugh.

A waitress came to the table, taking their orders which made Yoon's heart pound against his rib cage like a trapped bird. He had repeated the order in his head easily twenty times, yet still stumbled on his words when the time came to order.

'I'm so pitiful...I can't even talk to a waitress without fucking up'

After the waitress left Sangwoo placed his hand on the table, palm facing up, fingers collectively waving for the other's hand. Bum reluctantly pulled his arm from underneath the table, and intertwined his fingers with his partner's. He didn't understand his own hesitation, holding hands would earn him no worse stares than being attached to Sangwoo's arm. Yet he already believed everyone was judging him in general, so the added effect of being gay made him more paranoid about judgmental stares.

"How are you feeling?" Sang lovingly asked.

"I'm nervous." Yoon honestly replied.

"I can tell...but hey...I have an idea." Sangwoo said that an oh too devious wink. "See those old guys over there? They were those men who gave us dirty looks outside. Wanna see how many of these we can get stuck to the back of their shirts?" Sangwoo had a straw and small ball of paper napkin in his free hand, and he gestured at the men who had moved to the bar.

Their table ran parallel to the bar, creating the perfect angle for them to play Sang's game.

"Are you a child?" Bum smirked, treasuring the immaturity of his boyfriend.

"I am a child, or at least at heart. Come on it'll be fun. Let's play. Pleaseee!" Sangwoo whined, purposefully making his adolescent nature more visible.

"Fine, fine I'll do it." Bum was willing to do anything if it had a chance of distracting him from the looming anxiety that was still following him.

"Yes! Okay so I'll go for the guy on the right, you go for the guy on the left. By the end of the night, or whenever they leave, whoever has the most spitballs still stuck wins." Sangwoo eagerly laid out the rules, animatedly smiling with bright eyes.

"And what do we get if we win?" Yoon asked. He had innocent intentions when asking, but they were playfully shut down by his boyfriend's response.

"Anything we want. I know what my prize will be if I win." Sangwoo said in a sultry voice, pulling Bum's arm to get his full attention before giving him a devious wink, lewd intentions clearly driving his taunting answer.

The two put balled up bits of napkin in their mouths, nodded at one another, took one final glance to make sure no one was looking, and both shot spitballs at the mens backs. Sangwoo's missed, and nearly hit another lady at the bar, but Yoon's stuck right onto his target's blazer. They both mutually took another shot, Sang once again failing as his boyfriend landed another one.

"What no fair! You got two!" Sang whined, embarrassed by his own failed attempts.

"Haha what why isn't that fair?" Bum asked confused before remembering what a sore loser his boyfriend was.

"You probably have a better angle switch seats with me."

"Haha no way. Listen I know you're a sore loser, but sooner or later you'll have to learn how to lose to me." Yoon said with confidence, no longer noticing the anxiety that was now being lifted off from him as they played their immature game.

"Ohhhh shit talking already! I see how it is." Sang attempted to say seriously, but his laughs soon came after.

"Wanna know what would make this really fun?" Bum said, his voice low and mischievous.

"What?" Sangwoo asked, thrilled by how relaxed his partner now seemed.

"Whenever one of us misses a shot we have to take a drink. If you land a spitball but if falls off of their back you have to take a shot." Yoon's sportive idea immediately appealed to his boyfriend.

"So you wanna to get drunk tonight?" Sang asked with clear excitement.

"Well I mean when was the last time I had a drink, let alone had a drink outside of the house. Plus based off how you've been playing so far...I think I may win."

"You're on."

Yoon flashed a competitive grin while readying another spitball, cautiously scanning the room before landing a third spitball on the man's jacket. Everyone around them was so absorbed in their own conversations that they didn't notice the childish disarray that was unfolding.

Sangwoo missed another shot, and became increasingly frustrated by the failure at his own game. After several more minutes of playing, Bum landed 5 spitballs and his beer was only half empty. Sang was on the other end of the spectrum. Only 3 spitballs landed, and he had an empty beer accompanied by an empty shot glass. He had made several more attempts than his partner, and during one failure ended up hitting a man sitting at the other end of the bar.

Unfortunately neither of them had food or water in their system before drinking, and as their game continued both men had taken five shots within half an hour. They were both far from composed when their meals finally arrived, and Sangwoo received a judging glare when he hollered at the waitress about how excited he was for the food.

The two spiritedly ate, too enamored by their dinner to mind their manners to the full extent. As Sang was still hyper focused on his food, Bum mindfully slowed down to allot himself the ability to laugh at his bingeing boyfriend. Several bits of bulgogi scattered themselves across Sangwoo's chin, and he was innocently oblivious to Yoon's laughing.

After finishing their food they had completely forgotten about the game they had been playing. Both men were too infatuated with one another to focus on anything else, especially now that Bum's anxiety had dissipated. Their attention was no longer focused on keeping him distracted, it was completely centered on each other and the alcohol that was coursing through their veins, making both men a little too flirtatious.

The two mindlessly chugged down drink after drink, completely indulging in a discussion that was unfolding. They loved thoughtful conversations, and were both comfortable and open enough to talk about everything and anything. Small talk was not their forte. Their current conversing consisted of topics ranging from music, to politics, and all the way to cliché topics that would be cringeworthy for a sober onlooker. Spirited laughing was unrelenting when they recalled past memories, and the blissful atmosphere was intoxicating.

They both drank much more than expected, Bum especially. He was a light weight, and tended to stay away from drinking, so a night like tonight really did him in. He and Sangwoo each had five shots and they were both about to finish their third beer before realizing it would be best to leave soon. They paid their bill, left a sizable tip, and stumbled out of the restaurant to wait for their cab, this time Bum holding onto Sangwoo for support instead of fear. They waited outside, the brisk air lapping at their backs and rustling their hair. Sang coiling his arms around his boyfriend, squeezing him tight while rocking back and forth, humming some random song.

The cab finally arrived after a few minutes, and the two stayed wrapped up in one another during the ride home. Sangwoo kept peppering the other with kisses, and Bum barely noticed as he went on a drunken ramble. When he finally noticed the kisses trailing the back of his neck he swiftly turned around, crawling on Sang's lap so he could face him. He leaned in as though he was going in for a kiss, but instead broke into uncontrollable laughter that poured out.

"What's s-so funny?" Sangwoo slurred out, lightly laughing at his boyfriend.

"Haha I just remembered...haha we stuck sooo many spit balls onto those guys." Bum's entire body was shaking as he choked out his words.

"Oh god we did."

As their persistent laughing subsided, the two ended up gazing at one another with content grins. It had been a successful night. Sangwoo was completely hypnotized by his boyfriend's scarlet tinged cheeks and slightly rustled hair; furthermore, he was entranced by the other's giggly state to the point where he couldn't stop staring. Bum's drunken brain read the obvious doting as a friendly invitation and before Sang could even realize what was happening Bum's lips were suddenly everywhere. His tiny body crawling all over the other while placing kisses in frantic movements.

"Uhh Bum wait. We're so close to home." Sangwoo interjected after making awkward eye contact with the cab driver in the rear view mirror.

"But Sangwoo~" Bum cooed, his voice floating lightly before he continued, "I don't know if I can wait. The way you looked tonight, giving me those looks from across the table...it made me want to rip your clothes off right there. I want to get you as worked up as you got me. Sangwoo I need you."

"Ahhh fuck..." Sang sighed, feeling utterly defeated before collecting himself, "we're so close to home. I promise the second we're out of this cab we can continue this."

"Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

Despite the obvious desire burning in Bum, he respected Sangwoo's request, and instead nuzzled his head into his boyfriend's neck. Sang responded to the affection by gently running fingers through his boyfriend's hair, earning a satisfied sigh. Each breath Yoon exhaled whispered across the other's neck as a constant tickling reminder of their closeness. The golden street lights flickered over the car, illuminating Bum's face for just a teasing second before disappearing. The cab finally stopped, it's brakes lightly squealing as it notified them of their arrival. Sangwoo paid the driver, accidentally giving the man too much money before helping Yoon out of the car. Sang dropped some change and removed his steady hand that was helping the other, making Bum's legs wobbled before he balanced himself. After a few impatient moments Bum began whining in a drunken state.

"Sangwoo!! Hurryyyy."

"I'm trying I'm trying." Sang replied while fumbling with a stubborn quarter that just wouldn't be picked up.

After collecting all of the fallen change he stood up from the pavement, only to be latched onto by his boyfriend.

"Pay attention to meeee! I had sooo much fun tonight and I wanna have some more." Bum was practically ripping off his partner's coat, ignoring the fact that they were still outside.

"Haha I am paying attention to you baby, I am. Come on let's go inside."

The two climbed up the steps to the house, struggling with the keys before collapsing their weight against the door and bursting into their home. They were laughing about something insignificant, completely off in their own world before Bum shot a devious glare, reminding the other of his eagerness.

"Sangwoo. I need you."

Bum pushed his hand against Sangwoo's chest, shoving his boyfriend down over the arm of the couch before crawling on top of him. He intently focused on unclasping pearly buttons, his drunken thumbs not working at a preferable quick pace. He nearly ripped off Sangwoo's shirt before giving him heavy flowing kisses, his tongue hungrily exploring the other's mouth. Sang followed the other's lead, and began stripping Bum free of his shirt before rubbing his chest and sides.

Bum's kisses were so sweet, yet he reminded the other of his impatience by biting and pulling Sang's lip. Their frantic movements resulted in swollen and bruised lips, and both men marked each other with scarlet love bites. Yoon finally began to desperately roll his hips against his boyfriend's thigh practically begging for more, but Sangwoo was too focused on the tongue dancing with his own to notice his partner's neediness.

"Sangwoo I really really can't wait. Please touch me. Please."

Sang took no time to unbuckled Yoon's slacks after hearing his request, and he eagerly slipped his hand underneath the pants. He impatiently began to palm his partner, completely intoxicated by the lustful atmosphere and ignoring the insanely fast pace they were going.

"Mmm Sangwoo was so nice today. S-sangwoo treated me to such a nice night...ahhh Sangwoo loves dirty Bum doesn't he." He rambled, his head flung back from the pleasurable touch, hips thrusting into his partner's hand as he remained firmly straddled over the other.

The way Yoon sighed out Sangwoo's name was unfairly precious, and each time it became more addictive to his ears. The way the other was grinding into his hand, moaning from the lightest touch, eyes squeezed shut, it was all too perfect in Sangwoo's eyes. But he needed to hear more moaning, needed to feel Bum's body convulse under his control, he just needed more.

"Mmmm Bum I need you." Sang groaned while flipping the other onto his back.

He pressed thirsty kisses down his partner's abdomen, heading for an obvious bulge. He slowly peeled off the other's pants, letting his hot breath whisper across Bum's briefs in a teasing manner. But before he could satiate his desires, a sudden force stopped him.

"Sangwoo stop stop stop."

"Huh? What's wrong are you okay?"

Bum had now relocated to the floor, and had two hands firmly clasped over his mouth.

"I'm gonna get sick." Yoon mumbled through his fingers, looking up at his partner with alarmed eyes.

"Shit shit shit." Sangwoo said while flying up from the couch and rushing into the kitchen.

He grabbed an empty trash can and sprinted back to the other, placing it in front of him. He then frantically stumbled around the house, his feet slapping against the floor as he picked up anything and everything that could help his partner. When Sangwoo returned he tightly bundled a blanket around Bum, pushed his hair back with a random headband he had found, and pressed a cold washcloth against his partner's forehead.

"Sangwoo I really don't feel good and now I ruined our night." Bum slurred out, his voice shaky and raspy. The alcohol rushing through him and the intense nausea made the room spin like a paralyzing nightmare, and he could barely hold himself up.

"You didn't ruin our night! Bum I'm so sorry this is my fault. I shouldn't have let you drink so much, so quick...and on an empty stomach too!" Sangwoo said, wrapping his arms around his partner and gently hoisting him up to lean up against his chest.

"It's not your fault. I should've known better." Yoon replied in a more cheerful voice, trying to lighten the mood.

Before either of them could say another word Bum got sick, his coughing and gagging making the pit of guilt in Sang's stomach churn. He held his partner's hair back, whispering sweet nothings to distract him until he stopped throwing up. The two sat in silence for several minutes, Sangwoo thoughtlessly playing with his boyfriend's hair until Bum spoke up.

"I-I feel a bit better now. Can we go upstairs?"

"Of course." Sang replied while scooping the other up into his arms, cautiously carrying him up to their bedroom. He walked painfully slow, refusing to risk stumbling knowing his coordination had been stolen by the alcohol.

After getting Bum settled, and after grabbing a fresh washcloth and trash can, Sangwoo crawled into bed. He rolled over to stare at his boyfriend with apologetic eyes before kissing him on the nose.

"Disregarding you getting sick, did you enjoy tonight?" Sang quietly asked, brushing the other's hair to the side to reveal his eyes.

"Of course. I actually had a lot fun." Bum replied with a comforting grin, his voice smooth and silky.

"I'm so glad so so glad!" Sangwoo said slightly too loud, the excitement and joy getting the best of the tipsy man.

Bum wiggled over to his boyfriend, guiding the other's arms to hold him while he curled into Sangwoo's chest, subconsciously timing his own breathing to match his partner's before silently praying that he wouldn't get sick again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just needed to get this out of my system...it's basically a Valentine's Day chapter??? But I really have no idea what this chapter is...it's literal shit I DID NOT REVISE IT oops! But anyways the upcoming chapters are going to be angsty. I don't think people really like this story though so I will probably stop writing it. :///


	4. Abrupt Twist (changed chapter ending)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rewrite of the chapter. The beginning of the chapter is the exact same, but I COMPLETELY changed the ending.
> 
>  
> 
> [[ I was in a horrible mental state when writing this chapter the first time. I apologize for using this story to vent my own mental instability ]]

"Fuck." Bum cursed, gasping in the stale sleepy air as he lurched forward in bed, his body feeling utterly exhausted.

Dried up tears strived to seal his eyes shut, their lingering stains streaking down blooming rose cheeks. His stomach was twisting itself into unbreakable knots that worked their way up to choke his throat, not hesitating to steal shares of his breath. His entire body was in panic mode; covered in sheeny sweat, aching fingers and legs trembling, breath threatening to teeter over the precipice of hyperventilation. Graphic, scarring images flashed in front of his eyes, reminding him of the brutal dream (the "serial killer Sangwoo" dream) he had just endured. His dream had spiraled out of control quickly, this time going into deeper detail and exploding with vivid, crisp pictures.

Bum brought his hand up to his chin, lightly brushing his fingers against the skin, reassuring himself that Sangwoo hadn't in fact sliced into him. The first time he had this dream it ended with him playing some sort of sadistic card game that resulted in Bum being carried towards a knife. This time the dream ended in the same place, but it's intensive imagery was enhanced to godly levels, making every experience all too real.

Bum was thankful Sangwoo wasn't there in bed with him that morning, despite dearly wishing someone could cater to his debilitating hangover. Every image of his dream kept replaying through his mind, refusing to stop their relentless pace in a hazy fire of torture. As Bum let out a heavy sigh, all in an attempt to reorient himself, his phone made a loud buzz, startling him to the point where his body began quivering again. Shaking hands fumbled with the glowing phone as if that was the source of fear. Tired eyes, ones still adjusted to the dark room, felt sore while reading; the message that illuminated the screen feeling nearly blinding.

 

_**1 text message** _

_**Sangwoo**_ : _I had to cover someone's shift at work. I'll be home by 3:00. Hope you slept well, love you~_

Just the idea of Sangwoo coming home had Bum's chest tightening, and he had no idea how to clear his mind of this burdening dream. He knew he was being childish, he knew he was being immature, but the fear and anxiety that brewed within him was all too real. The dream itself was all too real.

_'It was just a dream. Just a dream. I probably only had the dream because I was so drunk. Yea, yea it was because I was drunk.'_

Bum's thoughts were frantically attempting to ease the destruction, trying to act as a clean up service to clear his mind. The more he reassured himself that it was just the alcohol, the safer he felt, safer from the dark world that his brain was constructing in the dreamland.

Somehow it was already 1:00pm and Bum in all honesty had no idea how he slept in so late. He begrudgingly got out of bed, keeping himself bundled up in comforting blankets before heading downstairs to get food. After eating a very overdue breakfast, Bum decided the only way to keep the agonizing visions from his dream at bay was to distract himself with mindless tasks.

He thoroughly cleaned the entire house, keeping himself busy and distracted while ignoring the blinding headache from his hangover. A pounding head was better than the tormenting thoughts that flickered through his mind. At this point anything was better than _that_. Bum ended up passing out on the couch after finishing his chores, feeling fully drained both physically and mentally.

 

* * *

 

"Hey...baby wake up. Dinner's ready."

"Huh...what...?" Bum whined, his voice gravelly and drowsy.

He stretched his limbs out like a cat, letting out a deep yawn, and peeling his eyes open to look up at his boyfriend, feeling startled by the man hovering over him.

"You were asleep on the couch when I came home so I let you sleep. It started getting late so I made us dinner." Sang whispered, his voice low and silky, soothing like some sort of song.

He reached down to kiss his boyfriend's forehead but was instantly rejected when Bum flinched away, the evident startle displaying his high alert.

"Bum? Are you okay?"

"Y-yea sorry. You just shocked me." Yoon replied with an unreliable laugh, trying to ease the tension he was creating.

He rolled off of the couch, dropping the cotton blanket around him to the floor before giving Sangwoo a more than awkward kiss on the cheek. He didn't understand why everything was so unnatural, all he knew was that he felt as though he was somehow ruining everything.

The two of them sat down for dinner, both painfully silent and seemingly unsettled. Bum restlessly fidgeted in his chair, finding it hard to look at Sangwoo without getting a flickering image of "serial killer Sangwoo." His boyfriend had never laid a hand on him, and even their arguments were always tame. Yet somehow his mind was creating this construed universe that was toying with his sanity.

Bum tried his best not to look scared when they ate, but a fearful nature surged through him just from his partner's presence. He didn't want to be scared of Sangwoo. It wasn't even Sangwoo that he was scared of. He was feeling this unease because of a falsified version of Sangwoo that his mind had made up, and that is what terrified him. It terrified him that his brain could control him like this.

Bum had several mental disorders that made him struggle with reality, his BPD and derealization depersonalization disorder being the worst culprits. The derealization part of his disorder ripped Bum from reality, making his surroundings and the entire universe _mentally_ feel like he was in a dream, a dream where nothing felt real. The depersonalization part of the disorder _physically_ tore Bum from the earth, torturing him with out of body experiences, distressing hallucinations, and denying him the freedom of being in touch with reality. The BPD heightened emotions and intensified hallucinations, adding into the mixture as a sickening villain. Because of these disorders, separating dreams and reality became a strenuous chore that Bum was now forced to undertake. A healthy brain wouldn't struggle as much with these dreams, however Bum did not have a healthy brain. It did not make him any less of a person, but it did mean he would have to struggle and fight with much more vigor to prevent these dreams from mixing with reality.

~

"I brought you a new album home from work. It was the best quality record that I could steal from the used section." Sangwoo laughed, hoping he could help release the stiffness loitering in the silent air.

"I still can't believe you steal from work." Bum giggled, still keeping his gaze focused on his plate, but feeling slightly comforted by his boyfriend's voice.

"Well I only take the used records that haven't sold in months, and probably won't ever sell. I'm just helping clear up space." Sangwoo explained, trying his best to justify the purely harmless crime.

"Ohhh so that's what you tell yourself!" Bum jested, finally looking up at the other as he laughed before snapping his eyes back down. His face twisted up into a concerned look, fingers trembling, each inhale feeling more labored than the last.

Sangwoo went silent, his muscles seizing from his partner's intense, and unnatural reaction to split second eye contact.

"Um Bum...is something wrong?"

"What? N-no...why would you ask that?" Yoon stuttered, chopsticks shaking in his hand as he fiddled with his food, using that as an excuse to keep his eyes diverted away.

"Well you won't even look at me...and you flinched when I tried to kiss your forehead earlier...is it because I took you on that date last night? Are you upset about that?" Sang desperately asked, his voice trilling with a higher tone, making him sound overly concerned.

"No of course not! T-there's no reason for me to be upset about that...s-something happened...and I-I...I had..." Bum's voice disappeared, he didn't mean to stop talking, but it was as if only dry air was willing to escape his lungs.

"Please tell me...if something is making you upset...well we all know keeping it bottled up will just make it worse."

Bum took a gulp of water, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat but it felt as though it'd be permanently stuck there. His face construed into a sour expression as frustration and anxieties overtook his body, refusing to release their merciless grip. A random surge of determination flooded through Bum, and he snapped his tearful eyes upward to stare at Sangwoo before speaking.

"I had...Sangwoo I had that dream again....I'm so so sorry! I know you'd never hurt me, I know it, I know it. But the dream scared me so much and you know I have such a hard time separating dreams from reality and-and I'm just so sorry. I don't know what to do!" Bum was completely rambling, his voice flooding into the room, tears lightly speckling scarlet flushed cheeks, lips trembling as he gazed upward in disparity.

Everything that had been building up the whole day exploded out of him, gushing out and placing his vulnerability on a cutting board.

"Please don't apologize. This isn't your fault, okay?" Sangwoo soothed, not saying too much as he tried to properly grasp the situation.

"It was so bad Sangwoo it was so bad! Everything was so much more vivid t-this time and...and you tortured me...you were so cruel..." The words wouldn't stop emptying themselves out of Bum, frantically piecing together in an attempt to defend his extreme reaction to the dream, "...b-but oh god...oh god I sh-shouldn't have said anything." Bum hiccuped out, still choking on his tears as he tried to change the subject, terrified that he would reveal too many details about the dream.

"Bum..." Sangwoo whispered, his airy voice sounding saddened and unsure.

"H-here I'll just p-put on this new record you got me...a-and we...we can forget I said anything." Bum sniffled, still sobbing out silent tears as he grabbed the album sitting on the kitchen counter.

He sat the record on the living room turntable, cautiously lining up the needle before waiting for music to sing through the speakers. As the first song began playing Bum crashed to the living room floor, his spine banging against the wood as he fell. His body felt completely paralyzed, unable to move a single muscle from the violating song corrupting his ears. _'Killing Me Softly'_ was quietly singing through the turntable speakers, torturing Bum with their mocking voices as a constant reminder that this was the song playing in his dream.

"What was that bang?" Sangwoo called from the kitchen, patiently waiting for an answer.

When he did not get the response he wanted he paced to the living room, feeling a concerned need to check on his partner. Bum was splayed on the ground, his body position looking as though someone had shoved him down.

"Bum! Are you okay?!" Sangwoo hurriedly knelt down to his partner, stretching out a helping hand before getting it slapped away in an abrupt rejection.

"I-I'm fine...I just- I just need to go to bed." Bum sniffled out, his teary eyes avoiding his boyfriend when he scurried up from the floor and headed towards the stairs.

"Bum..." Sangwoo whispered in a disheartened sigh, feeling concern grip his chest at the sight of his clearly distressed partner.

He suppressed the urge to call out and stop Bum so he could ask what was happening, for he knew his boyfriend preferred to not be smothered by questions. To keep that impulse at bay he returned to the kitchen, clearing their plates, cleaning the dishes, and silently suffering with unease and anxiety while listening to shuffling footsteps above.

Bum had wandered his way into the upstairs bathroom, his gut feeling sickened by the entirely pathetic face looking at him in the mirror. The overwhelming sensation that a stranger was staring back at him was too much, and he swiftly tucked in on himself, hiding from his own reflection. He felt as though he would throw up from a scarring image flashing through his mind. He was being reminded of a hallucination that teased him in the living room. When Sangwoo had reached out his hand a disturbing face was smiling at him, the same blood spattered face that his boyfriend wore in his dreams. Seeing his nightmare come to life, seeing it join reality was entirely distressing and Bum felt inexplicably tired from that one image alone. He stumbled out of the bathroom, heading towards his bedroom, and crawling into bed. He desperately prayed that Sangwoo wouldn't come up any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the change, sorry if this is confusing I just have no idea what I'm doing with this story. My writing sucks, this story sucks, and I really feel so blessed that anyone reads this because it's really just me venting through my writing.  
> ||| Just a reminder that I portrayed both of these mental illnesses in the way I have struggled with them. Hallucinations are very distressing, and when you have a disorder like DPDR reality is already quite illusive so hallucinations don't help. |||


	5. Change of Pace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ||| I thought a picnic chapter would be nice. When I lived in Korea I consistently went out for picnics, as it's a very common Korean pastime! If you guys have never had yakbap I highly recommend you try it! |||

Again. Another morning of rising with fear. The torturous dream and it's repetitive torment were back again. A situation of abnormal cruelty seemed to have comfortably attached itself to Bum, establishing it's place in his dreams. For two weeks every morning began with a man shaking in panic, his body still wavering in a floating dreamland. The effects of the dream had become so significant that Bum could no longer be touched by his boyfriend without flinching, could no longer hold consistent eye contact with his partner without panicking, and could no longer practice any means of a healthy relationship.

Sangwoo spent every night on the couch, no longer welcomed in a bed that had once so graciously held both of them. For those weeks his brain had been frantically scrambling for some sort of solution, yet the answer continued to elude him. The amount of ideas that had floated through his mind steadily grew in conjunction with his anxiety about the situation. A sense of desperation intruded his thoughts, and with a defeated sigh he decided to follow the first plan of action that arose in his thoughts.

A counteractive plan came to mind, and Sangwoo ignored the simplistic theory of his own idea. If he worked hard to shower Bum with loving dates and sweet surprises he had a chance of both distracting his boyfriend from any unpleasant thoughts, while potentially overriding and defeating the 'evil Sangwoo' that existed in Bum's dreams.

Utterly simplistic? Yes. Borderline childish? Yes. But at this point desperation had gotten the best of Sangwoo, and in all honesty this was the only semi-logical idea that had come to his mind.

 

* * *

 

"Did you have the dream again?" Sangwoo softly asked, his voice thoughtfully low and gentle. He was quietly settled on the end of the bed, hands clasped on his lap, cautiously aware of the status he currently held with his boyfriend.

"Yea..." Bum whispered, his head hung painfully low to shield his eyes from the threat of meeting with others.

"Well I had an idea to um...to help ease this situation. I know you expressed that thoughts of the dream keep popping up in your mind, so I was thinking we could do something to distract your mind from those thoughts." Sangwoo shared, purposefully leaving out the simple fact that he thought taking Bum on dates would help override the 'evil Sangwoo' that lived in his boyfriend's dreams.

"What do you have in mind?" Bum mumbled, his voice muffled by a blanket he had pressed against his mouth.

"I was thinking today we could go to the park. It'll keep your mind occupied, and maybe just give you a change of pace. Thoughts?" Sangwoo asked, sounding oddly enthused to share his idea.

"Uh...yea sure. Distracting my mind sounds nice." Bum looked up with a meek grin, trying his best to give himself a glint of hope.

"I'll go downstairs and pack up a picnic basket and some food." Sangwoo said while lifting himself up off the bed and heading towards the door.

"Oh a picnic?"

"Yes, I hope that's alright."

"Mhm that's fine."

 

* * *

 

"Nice out today huh?" Sangwoo asked, tipping his head down to admire his sun illuminated boyfriend.

"Yea...it's really nice." Bum sighed, relief and a sense of bliss expelling from him.

Blinding sun rays pierced down over the park, the clamor of playful children being carried by a nectar spring breeze as the two paced through the park. Lost flower petals tumbled over the sidewalk, and Bum mindfully delighted in his environment.

"Hey, wanna go set up down there?" Sangwoo asked, pointing downhill towards the canal that ran through the park.

"Mhm."

The two strayed from the sidewalk, strolling downslope hand in hand. They aimed for a lightly shaded area underneath an overgrown evergreen. Sangwoo shook out a cotton blanket, fanning the sheet before letting it gently float to the ground. He then set a wooden basket in the center of the blanket, sat himself down, and tapped his hand on the sheet as a friendly invite. Bum politely followed, squatting down next to his partner before looking up at the tree that hung over them.

"So what did you bring?" Bum asked, a genuine smile finally settling on his face.

Sangwoo proudly beamed at his boyfriend while grabbing the picnic basket, and quickly proceeded to list each item brought, "All of your favorite picnic foods: mandoo, japgwapyon, yakbap, kimbap, and of course kkokkalcorn."

"Sangwoo this is all too much!" Bum protested, although the craving expression he wore betrayed his words.

"It's nothing at all. I just packed up some simple foods...in all honesty I just really wanted to make today perfect." Sangwoo confessed, scratching the back of his head.

"Well thank you. I do hope you know that it means a lot to me that you're putting in so much effort to help me...especially since I've been so cold to you recently." Bum said, placing his hand over his boyfriend's and looking up with grateful eyes.

"I'd do anything to help you," Sangwoo said sweetly, giving his partner a quick kiss on the forehead before continuing, "let's eat."

The two of them had a much too childish time while snacking, both men breaking every mothers rule of "don't play with your food." Bum had playfully stuck kkokkalcorn chips on the tips of his fingers, their spiky cone shape resembling unpleasant witch-like fingernails.  
_(Author note: kkokkalcorn snacks are the Korean version of Bugles and they're sooo delicious)_  
Sangwoo lightheartedly grabbed his boyfriend's wrist, and ate each chip off of Bum's fingers before both of them broke into airy laughter. In an attempt to be pathetically cliché Sangwoo fed his partner kimbap. Romantically reaching over and placing the food in Bum's mouth before they both lost their composure, laughing at the trivial gesture.

After playing with their food like children and like a cheesy couple they began to actually enjoy their snacks, savoring the delicious picnic while admiring their surroundings. Bum had slowly but surely scooted over towards Sangwoo, and was now leisurely relaxed against his partner's chest. Woo gently coiled both arms around the other, coaxing Bum to completely lean against him. The two silently indulged in their tranquil environment, both feeling overwhelmingly comforted by full stomachs, a peaceful park, and a desirable closeness that had been evading them.

Ever since Sangwoo had brought that record home Bum had been avoiding all physical contact with his boyfriend. Both had been depraved of each other's touch and finally Bum was warming up to the idea again.

~~~

After several long minutes of light cuddling and receiving judgmental stares Sangwoo finally suggested for another change of pace. He grabbed a bag of bread from the picnic basket, and charmingly helped Bum up off the blanket before guiding him down towards the canal that cut through the park.

"Here!" Sangwoo exclaimed with a glowing smile while handing Bum a piece of bread.

"Um...okay...what do I do with this?" Yoon asked, inspecting the bread before looking up at his partner with an all too confused look.

"Feed the pigeons and birds with it of course!"

"Haha what are we an old married couple?" Bum teased while tearing up his bread into crumb sized bits.

"Well...hopefully we can at least be a married couple soon." Sangwoo said with a too pleased wink.

Bum instantly blushed at the comment, his cheeks and ears flushing a deep scarlet.

"Hah you like that?" Sangwoo jested, lightly bumping his boyfriend's side with his elbow.

"Haha yea...I do." Bum meekly replied, his head turned down to hide the growing pink in his face.

"Well I'll be sure to make that happen," Sangwoo said, throwing in one last hit before continuing, "anyways...I know feeding birds sounds dumb but whenever my dad was going ballistic my mother would take me to the park to get away from him. Her and I would always feed the birds and it was actually pretty fun. It really helped clear my mind and give me a break from the mess at home....Oh and sometimes her and I would have little competitions to see who could get the most birds to eat out of their hand."

"I can picture a little Sangwoo getting frustrated because more birds were eating from your mom's hands than from yours." Bum laughed, picturing the adorable image of a sore loser Sangwoo pouting because the birds liked his mom more.

"Haha that happened almost every time!"

The two began tossing crumbled bits of bread around them, scattering the pieces across the grass. In an instant courageous birds swooped in to pick up the food, not hesitating to devour any bread in sight. Timid birds ate the bits that had strayed farther away, but slowly built up their courage to come closer to Sangwoo and Bum. Both men were kneeling down, large piles of broken up bread in their open palms as they eagerly awaited for brave birds to eat from their hands. A particularly spunky pigeon went for Bum's cupped hands and excitedly devoured the bread.

"Ahhh haha it tickles!" Bum laughed, the constant tickle of the bird's beak on his hands an odd and unfamiliar sensation to him.

"Haha I know right! The poke of their beaks always feels weird." Sangwoo agreed.

They stayed in a squatting position, both of them remaining cautiously still to avoid spooking any of their snacking guests. Several birds were now flocking over to Bum, his small and gentle stature being the probable cause of their comfort towards him. A greedy squirrel rushed over, grabbing a bite from Bum's hand before scurrying away.

Sangwoo looked over in admiration, feeling himself somehow falling deeper in love at the precious sight of his boyfriend surrounded by animals, soaking up the bright sun rays, and giggling at the tickle of the birds beaks.

"Staring because you're jealous of my animal whisperer skills?" Bum teased, his eyes meeting with the gaze of his partner.

"Haha no I'm just staring because you look really cute right now"

"Don't be cheesy haha."

They finished feeding the pigeons before returning to their picnic blanket. Sangwoo was sitting upright, Bum's head rested in his lap as the two of them laughed and talked about insignificant nothings.

An unusual overcast of clouds began slowly creeping towards the sun, threatening to steal away it's streaming rays. Quickly the sun was sheathed in a blanket of clouds, the sky instantly turning a dark grey. An ominous wind rustled the leaves above their heads, and playful raindrops began to fall.

"Hmmm we better pack up before the rain gets any worse." Sangwoo said, noting a steady increase in the pace of falling raindrops.

Bum nodded in agreement, began placing their belongings back in the basket, and folded up their blanket. Just as they got ready to walk back home the sky opened up, a pounding rain pouring down onto them.

"Here under this quick." Sangwoo said, grabbing the just folded blanket and fanning it out.

He tossed the blanket over his head like a parachute and pulled Bum underneath it as they walked to leave the park. He held the sheet high above their heads, using it as a makeshift umbrella as Bum carried the picnic basket. The rain somehow began falling at a heavier pace, and their faux umbrella was pathetically failing at it's job. The blanket soaked up the water, and it's new heavy weight was now sticking to Bum and Sangwoo's heads and arms.

"Haha oh god we're getting soaked. I'm gonna look like a wet dog." Bum laughed, surprisingly enjoyed the feeling of the summer rain tickling his skin through the blanket.

"No you look good when your hair is all wetted down. It sticks to your cheeks and it's this cute messy look." Sangwoo explained, sounding like a school girl obsessing over her crush.

"Ah...Sangwoo..." Bum mumbled, obvious embarrassment from the compliment trilling with his voice. He turned his head away from his partner, partially wrapping his face up in the blanket to hide his wet hair and flushed cheeks.

"No no no, don't hide from me." Sangwoo chuckled before grabbing his partner's arm to catch his attention.

"I-I'm not." Bum muttered, turning towards the other but keeping his timid head hung low.

Woo placed his hand under Bum's chin, and gradually tipped his partner's head upward. His gaze pierced into his partner's eyes, and it was the most alluring, hypnotizing stare known to man. This was a cliché move Sangwoo always pulled, but it never failed to heighten the hot red that burned in Bum's cheeks and ears.

"S-Sangwoo...we already got glares from cuddling earlier...if you kiss me we might..." Yoon's voice faded away as he began imagining the looks people would serve them with.

"We're the only people really out here. Everyone else was smart enough to leave because of the rain. But we can always-" And with that Sangwoo spun himself in front of Bum, rapidly and completely wrapping the rain soaked blanket around them to hide from any judgmental eyes, "Better?"

"Hah yea."

Sangwoo leaned down to kiss Bum, and his lips were immediately met by his partner who was standing on tiptoes. After two weeks of zero contact the amount of passion behind Bum's eager lips was a decent surprise. He took no time to hesitate before adding his tongue into the mixture, feeling all the lack of touch from the past few weeks bursting out of him. Bum had missed this, missed the feeling of his partner, and even more missed the feeling of being at complete ease when around Sangwoo. It was an incredible relief to no longer have the weight of disturbing dreams lingering in his mind.

"We should probably hurry back home before one of us gets a cold." Sangwoo mumbled, pulling away from the kiss and placing his forehead against his partner's.

"Yea...we are soaking wet." Bum chuckled before lifting the blanket off of his head.

He stepped out from underneath the sheet, turned his head up to the sky with closed eyes, spread his arms out wide, and relished in the sensation of a warm summer rain dancing across his skin. After a few moments he turned back to the other, a purely genuine smile settled on his face.

"Thank you for today. I think it helped a lot." Bum thanked, his voice sounding grateful and raw.

"I'm planning on making every day this week as good as today. So be prepared for a busy week." Sangwoo chuckled, treasuring the peaceful sight of a smiling boyfriend.

"I'm excited to see what you have planned! Now let's hurry home!" Bum exclaimed, grabbing Sangwoo's hand and nearly dragging him out of the park.

The two rushed home, their feet slapping against the muddy grass, hair getting drenched by the relentless rain, and their shirts becoming see through. The park was only ten minutes from their house, but neither of them would let go of the other as they ran home.

~~~~

After arriving home and drying off Sangwoo kept Bum company as he cooked them dinner, and they both ate together with a sense of contentment that had been eluding them. After eating and relaxing together with some music, Bum went upstairs to bed, Sangwoo remaining on the couch for the night, all to ensure that he didn't push too far on day one. Both felt that they were a step closer to going back to normal, to getting back into their routine, and that was something they were in dire need of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The remainder of this story will be fluff, and I decided to leave out a plot. However, I will be making a very in depth healthy relationship au! I've actually already started writing it!
> 
> !!!!!Important question: Would you guys like another smut chapter? And should it be fluffy smut or semi-kinky?


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